There is nothing as irreversible as death of a closed one. Till now, I have always thought of heart breaks as the worst pain, but I just realized death is a separation in which there is no room for future. My team-mate B came in to work today after a 2 week break after her dad's sudden demise.
Two weeks back on a Thursday morning when I logged in at work at 7.45 am, I got a call from B, who was sobbing on the phone. She kept saying pappa pappa in between sobs. I knew her dad was quite sick for some time, and she has made emergency trips home just recently. But I am inexperienced in handling this, I didnt know what to ask her. So I just asked her if she wanted me to accompany her to the airport atleast. I left a message for the boss and left to the airport immediately. I rushed to Mekri cirlce and luckily got into the same BIAL bus which she had boarded. The moment she saw me getting into the bus, she burst into louder sobs. I was totally clueless on how I am going to handle this. I have never been through this earlier. The only thing, I kept telling myself was that, the girl sitting near me was just a 24 year old kid, and I had to really be with her during this great loss. I dont know what people speak when they want to console someone on somebody's death. I dont know if external words help a person especially during this loss or does it make them feel worse.
She had to travel to Punjab and it was going to be a long journey for her. So I just started scheduling her travel to Delhi and then to Punjab. We were joined by two other friends from office also, so they manged to get a known taxi guy for her from Delhi. I kept holding her hands while she spoke few words between her sobs, I only acknowledged her during the conversation and assured her that she will feel much better when she joins her family back home. I later called her up couple of times after she had reached, and she sounded much better than when I had seen her last. Today she is back in office, meeting colleagues and getting a bit emotional, I dont know if talking helps, I only asked her if she wanted to go out somewhere for a walk. I am sure time helps.
I always fear the thought of losing my parents someday. Everytime I think of it, I feel positive about the time available for us to be together now. The first time I felt the loss of a near one was that of my aunt( my dad's bro's wife). There was a phone call and I heard my Dad asking when the funeral was, and the only thing I knew was, I am not going to get to see her in my life again. Its over 8 years now, I still miss the person she was in my life, I miss the person she was in her home, the wife my uncle had as his support, the mother she was to my cousins, everything has changed a lot for all of us. Every function, or an event in the house, we always remember her and wonder how it would have been if she was around. I am sure, it changes many things for everybody. But we all move on. We will always miss the people no matter how many years pass by, but we get used to living with their memories.
My earliest memory of a friend losing her dad was at school when I was in grade5/6. I think her name was Betty, we all knew her dad though. Papachan driver was our school bus driver and we were all very fond of him, he was the most patient, gentlest and happiest person we knew. We were shocked when we came to know of his sudden demise. I was too young to understand pain, but I knew losing a parent means life is going to change forever. When my parents returned from the funeral, I remember asking mom if Betty was crying a lot. That was the first time, I realized how life can change suddenly for anybody.