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I see, hear, speak....Well, I write here too..
22nd-Oct-2009 08:20 am - Random logs
Project related stuff has taken a back seat, but I am tied up with a lot of other responsibilities. I realize, I have a long way to learn and effectively implement multi-tasking. 

It is ironical that when your younger sibling is given the first chance to drive dad's old car, you feel humiliated to be a co-passenger. But its a moment of pride, when your younger bro takes you out as a co-passenger for the first ride in his brand new car :)

Parents will be here for couple of days. So yesterday, took them to meet little Mihika. Surprisingly she wasnt very shy to meet Dad for the first time. She entertained Dad showing him all her coloring books and other accomplishments. So when Dad was pointing at his big tummy and asking her whether she has anything like that, she snaps back "Noooo, Oh, but yeah, I have a bum though" .

Some of the choices I have made in my life, I have regretted later bcos I didnt think about myself then. Even now, its difficult to understand how I can put somebody else before my own needs and that too for no gains in return. I think, I am making a judgment mistake.

Thanks to farmville keeping me entertained most part of the day, I either get too busy farming or too tired post-farming. I know its a lousy-brainless game, but then as long as I do not flood people's walls on facebook, I am quite happy keeping myself busy in my farm. Well, I should be quitting in a fortnight or so and get back actively into the  LJ world. Looks like too much farming has got a lot of weeds into my brain, though I read LJ friends page, I do not know what to write/comment or share my thoughts on !

To begin with, last week, I got one more beautiful little gift waiting for me as I returned from work. Remember this post, where we were supposed to make something by ourselves and dispatch it to the first 4 winners :) Well when I got dianaparadise's gift, I thought she was the only hardworking person who took this up seriously and kept the promise. Well, rechristened  is not far behind, she sent me this cute little bunny and a more precious hand written letter. It was nostalgic to read a hand written letter addressed to me after a really really long time. The only personal letters I get these days, is limited those from the banks, and ever since all the saving the environment sensation began, I comfortably switched them to the electronic mode.

Thank you rechristened, both these gifts mean a lot to me, especially when you promised all the people on your journal a gift, unlike most of us, who limited it to 4. I have been planning to write this thank-you post for quite some time, well, I did a mistake by doing it in installments, I charged my camera batteries last week, and just when I decided to take pictures today, I had a tough time to get the two of them clicked. The batteries died eventually. 

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The last four lines at the bottom of the letter is so true. " LJ has made us realize that friendships can form and flourish between people who have never met or spoken to each other" ! I have resumed completing what I began as a gift to my LJ friends, I hope, I complete it before this year ends.
8th-Oct-2009 09:43 pm - alpha beta gamma here I come !
A friend was trying to recollect the name of a greek symbol he came across some document he was reading. He tried to explain to me on phone how it looked like, I came up with a lot of guesses and just realized I have forgotten a whole lot of other greek symbols.

Revisited rho, psi, phi, epsilon .. Interesting how I use none of them these days !

Click here for a re-visit !
3rd-Aug-2009 09:21 am - Mihika Turns 3

There are some days, no matter how much of work I have, I can leave everything behind and rush out of office. Last monday, our darling Mihika turned 3 !! Thanks to all our prior efforts in introducing her to Birthday parties and cakes, she now understands Birthday is something everyone has/owns. After her second birthday, she was so fascinated by the cake cutting, balloons, and all the attention she received that, she mistook birthday for something like her own copyright event. For her mother's Bday some months back, she sang out aloud 'Happy birthday Mihika.....". She wasnt amused that I corrected her. Couple of days back, for her father's bday , she blew the candle, even before he could aim his breath at them.  A few angry stares and efforts of making her understand that everybody has his/her own birthday, and that she should wait for July 27th, which would be her bday, didnt help either.  We were about to give up, when she shot back at me " Ninni, U Birthday is .....? "  I tell you, you can forgive her for all that she has done before, when she comes up with something as cute as that :)

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26th-Jul-2009 03:13 pm - Office Crush - Part 1
Those who know me for some time now, also know that the story of my crushes is a never-ending one. Ten years from now, you will still hear me either talking about a new random one, or turning pages of that heavy book called "Collection of Short Unfulfilled Crush Stories" .  Well, this one is about the office crush. A new job meant,  fresher pastures to look for potential crushes. 8 months into the new place and trying to get familiar with people, and characters, I  couldnt find anybody touching that soft spot in my heart( Well, the heart has gone harder compared to earlier times though).

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25th-Jul-2009 10:58 pm - 110 mins of stalklight
Today was one of those weekends, after a long time, I get to find time for myself. I have been yearning for this day, when I can sit all day at home, and worry about home-keeping. After a busy cockroach-fight in the kitchen until noon, I decided to go for a long walk minus the ear-phones of my mobile-FM. I have noticed that,  when I am on Radio, I do not have this self- talking happening to the fullest during my walks. I also had to pick up a birthday gift for Mihika, who already has a long list of requirements stacked up. I take a bus till ASC centre, and decide to walk to the Crossword at Residency Road.

I walk past Hosmat hospital and just when I cross Symphony, a person stops me and asked me where I work. I asked him back why he needed, and he talked about some investments and ULIPS. Before he could slow me down further, I conveyed to him that I was not interested, and started walking faster. Now, this guy walks along and keeps pestering me for ULIPS, my company name, my visiting card and so on. I didnt want to sound rude, so I politely asked him not to disturb me further, and I walked ahead and took a right turn from Garuda towards Central.

When I walk further, I realize  a pair of foot-steps following mine. Though the road in this area is generally crowded, I could sense his distinct footsteps following me. I tried stopping abruptly and casually looked around, and this guy turned out to be smarter, and he pretended he had not seen me earlier and some times, he managed to disappear behind trees/ autos. I reach Central, and confront him directly, when he appears cool, and I realize, more noise from my end, would put me into an embarrassing spotlight.

I wait a little, until he disappears, and I try to cross the road, hoping, I am just fewer feet from my destination. I set my foot on Residency Road, when I see this guy following me on the other side of the road. I abruptly stop an older person and his son, and explain to them my situation. I couldnt find any policeman at that junction. I point them to this person, and before they could stabilize their focus on him, the stalker makes his vanishing act again. I walk fast further, leaving the older man, and reach the bus stop. I turn around, when I see the older man and his son running towards me. They inform me, that they saw the stalker cross the road towards me and follow me again. Now, 3 pairs of eyes, hunt for the stalker. But we do not find him. After 10-15 minutes of a tiring wait. and an assurance that the stalker might have left the scene, I walk towards Crossword.

After walking for 2-3 mins, I see the stalker again, this time hiding behind another tree. I have given up now. I know, I am not strong as I should be. I should have confronted him. I didnt want a crowd and get him hit etc and all these thoughts of aftermath, of getting attacked withh acid bottles etc etc . Secondly, I didnt want him to follow me in a bus/auto and know the place I live and then torture me for eternity. I only hoped, he would stop his game now. I just hoped, he would disappear once and for all. But I didnt know how !

I was talking to K, on phone, when he asked me to get into a bus and inform the conductor if this guy follows me into the bus. Of all the random buses, that came in, the only bus I went ahead and jumped in was 201 !  Yay, Thank You Murphy. When you wait for 30 mins and when you want to reach home,there is no sign of 201. But when you want to avoid the possibility of a stalker following you/knowing your route, this is the only bus which pops in front of you, when you make that life-saving jump !

Well, luckily the bus was not crowded, so I could make sure, the stalker had not jumped in along with me. But the phobia had hit me really hard that, now, I was scared to even turn back and scan the men's seats again. By now, the fear of the present and future consequences had risen to such a height that, there was only one thing I could possibly choose to do. Get down at the stop I want, and confront him, or hand him over to public/police. I call bro now, thanks to Murphy again, the phone gets hung this time. Thanks to 201 also, whoever made that route, ensured that I get stalked for some more time.  Well, I am sure, I looked at someone escaping from a scene of murder !  I reach CMH road, and by now, I thoroughly search through all seats and make sure, the stalker is not in the bus. After alighting from the bus, I make sure, the stalker is not around. A little while later, I meet bro and we go for a small drive, before reaching home.

After reaching home and updating all friends, whom I called in panic, I now laugh about it. I know I sort of over-reacted and got worried un-necessarily, I also felt, I was reading madness from his eyes, and he looked totally like someone ready to cause trouble.  I guess the random thoughts of aftermath got me quite tensed. Well, I missed my calm evening walk. I will probably get back to Crossword tomorrow  to complete the pending task, but am not sure, whether I would go alone or tag along with someone.
3rd-Jul-2009 06:36 pm - The Making of a Long Weekend

Time : 8:54 am. Its a lovely cloudy breezy July morning. I am walking towards office, making plans of how to wind up work and  other activities dependent on me and leave office at 5 pm latest. I have to take the night train to Chennai tonight, so that means, I wouldnt be seeing Mihika in the weekend, I was making some quick calculations on how to plan meeting the kid before leaving the city for the weekend.
Just one building before the work place, a white man coming in the opposite direction stops his car and informs me about something happening at the office. I could first hear only Swi.. I asked him what swiping was he talking about. I switched off the FM on my mobile, I heard him clearly this time " There is a confirmed case of Swine Flu at office, people are leaving, and more cases are suspected, so why dont you return back" . Well, I knew he was working at my work place , I have seen this person, probably lifts or may be my floor, but I am not sure. Bu then  I am sure, its easy for people to spot me, bcos of my height and recognize me outside work place too. Well his news was sudden, and since I was just a building away, I thanked him and told him, I will anyways walk upto there to meet my boss/team to confirm further details.

Pacing slowly towards the office building, I could see, company buses entering normally into the Office Gate. So I called my boss on his mobile, but he didnt pick my call. Then I called my teamie B, and she confirmed the news and told me, they were all made to wait inside the company bus.

After I reached the office, I teamed up with few of my colleagues and waited outside the office building with 1000 other employees. Nobody knew the source of the Information. Finally somebody from the MGMT declared that there was one confirmed case of Swine Flu and that they have quarantined that particular floor and people who are comfortable can go in and work. Well, there were some debates and discussions and finally what we heard was that we could take the day off.

Well 2 of my colleagues came back home with me, and we had a Dosa, Sambhar, Pudina Chutney, Breakfast at home. They have been waiting for quite some time for Dosa bfast at my place. We discussed some of the office tales/gossip and then they left for the day. We looked for more information on the Internet for this particular news. But we havent been able to trace any. Also we do not have access to work-email from outside office network, so we havent received any official information from the MGMT yet.

I do not know the impact of this incident on the remaining employees. Some of us are already feeling sick thinking about the possibility of contracting the flu. I have been having hectic schedules for a month now, and my health and well being has been normally low for quite some time. So, I think my sick feeling today is just a temporary phase and things will return to normal very soon. 


28th-Jun-2009 09:40 am - LJ friendship and contests
I have a number of pending things which have to be logged here, some of which have been some major turning points in my life. Most of the posts come with pictures, and I either forget to upload or update the post.

Remember this post, where we were supposed to make something by ourselves and dispatch it to the first 4 winners :) Well, I have still not reached 50% of the original idea I had planned. Luckily I still remember the first 4 winners of my contest, but I do not remember, whom all, I have to get my surprise gift from :)

dianaparadise sent my gift before even before I had actually started thinking about what to send the winners from post. She sent me this beautiful hand made card, collected all leaves from her garden and when it reached me, I could still smell the fragrance :) Well, I have got musical cards, this is the first time, I got a garden flavored card :)

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9th-Jun-2009 10:13 am(no subject)
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8th-Jun-2009 09:46 am - Kitty Parties ...
Some time, early this year, I had problems with stray cats, visiting my backyard and treating it like a public toilet. After couple of times of stepping onto cat shit and urine, I searched on the Internet for effective ways to keep them away.  Also my kitchen back door, opens to this place, so keeping the door closed, meant less of ventilation. Well, I am no expert in cat traps and pepper spray, but after reading couple of help pages, I concluded that cats are repulsive to certain smells like those of citrus fruits. I didnt have time to run around markets looking for commercial cat-repellent sprays, I tried with Baygon cockroach spray and it worked from day 1. The cats didnt turn up for a while.

This problem went forgotten until Saturday morning, when bro pointed me to a half eaten dead rat and also some cat shit around the same spot. Looked like the cats, have had a major party, bringing in food, making themselves comfortable on the floor mats, and then forgetting about cleaning up the left overs. well,l it was indeed a kitty party. We took turns cleaning the mess. And before going to bed, I used my weapon(Baygon)  again as the repellent. Sunday morning was fine with no traces of remains of kitty parties, or shit.

Monday morning, as I opened the kitchen door, there were patches of dry blood over the floor. Didnt look like that of leftovers from the Kitty party, bcos I couldnt find any rat hair or legs as remains like the other day. Either the prey was delicious for the cats to have cleaned up all the bones, or one of the cats, probably a female one, was menstruating. Well, I spent some good amount of time, cleaning and washing the floor on a lovely monday morning. I have to seriously look for alternatives, if anyone knows of any shop or any number I can call and seek help, please do provide. I do not want waking up every morning wondering what surprise lies on that side of the door.
25th-May-2009 11:51 am - Constipated Code
After struggling for a week, with a bug in the code, when it works Monday morning, its like getting relief from constipation. You know its there, but you dont know why it is not working, and you dont know what the bug is.  And you have that heavy feeling within you. 

Finally got relief today. Damn, only if I could read in between the lines of the error log file. Last week was pathetic, I hope the week ahead is nice :)
22nd-May-2009 06:20 am - Emptiness
Dont know if its the emptiness within or in the house, its been a bit  blank after parents left today morning. The past 2 weeks have been mixed, a bit of tensed especially with Dad getting sick. And to add to more responsibility, bro was not in town,  and suddenly it seemed like a support off. Luckily he came back last weekend, and it suddenly feels nice to have everyone home and in good health. There were some occasions earlier in childhood, when out of a moment of anguish, or temporary kiddish sibling rivalry when I wondered why I had a younger brother, I used to wonder how life would have been without a sibling,  that too a younger one. The equations favored him then bcos he was younger :)  Well, last week, I knew how it would feel like, when you suddenly feel all alone especially with ailing parents, when you cant outsource your worries. Friends are supportive and loving always, but family is family.

Dad as usual gets tensed when things dont go punctual. I had booked for a taxi to the Rly station for 5 am for the 6 am train. From 4.45 am, he has been panicking about the taxi not arriving. In between desperate calls to the taxi office, the only thing I hoped was for the taxi to make a magic appearance. With all the chaos, the milk boiling on the stove, spilt all over the kitchen. The story of the milk is another one. Since Dad was advised for a regular exercise bcos of being over weight, I allowed him to venture out yesterday morning to get the milk for the day. Well the person who was supposed to return with 1 litre of milk, came back home carrying 3 litres of milk. Yes, thats my Dadda. And I reminded him that they were traveling back the next day and I should prolly shift to a whole milk diet to consume the extra 2 litres all by myself. Well, Dadda had other plans, he says, " its okay, we will make Payasam " . Well, now, we know how the overweight thing came up ! The payasam plan was safely ignored or forgotten.

So it was good that today morning some of the milk went for a toss. And after they left, I had a huge task of clearing up the kitchen. Cleaning up is a good way to divert sadness/emptiness. But then, I did remember I am home alone, when I put back those extra crockery, until they return again.

Good thing about being alone is, getting back to the Internet network, and also catching up with many friends post as well as pending posts to be logged.

Work has been the worst this whole week. I guess, there will be such low points now and then.
21st-May-2009 09:18 am - Jolly Rides
It is only in the Lift you can smell a combination of stinking shoes, unwashed socks, bad breath, shirts perfumed with sweat, oily unwashed hair, body odour ...

And its only the lift, you meet all the junk heads working in your company. People on phone, blocking the door wondering which way the lift goes, people who dont get out of the lift bcos they were either talking, or dreaming or on phone, people who barge in without letting others to exit, people who have a fantasy to press random buttons and make the lift stop at all unwanted floors, Well, its a jolly ride till the 7th floor. If only,  I had the stamina to take up the stairs, I would have avoided this.

If the CEO, gave me the choice to lay off people, I would take him on the Lift and show him how much cost he can save !

Meme time, add your other frustrating lift experiences as comments !!
7th-May-2009 10:47 am - Gym Effects
Its day 5 at the Gym and considering the aching muscles, it has been good so far. The last time I was in gym, it was 2 years back, and I was not this heavy then, and since the gym was outside office, I wasnt feeling this uncomfortable with my huge body especially wearing the gym clothes. Now, I accompany my junior team-mate B to the office gym, who is very fashion conscious. So it also means, I did some weekend shopping for more gym clothes and accessories.

Did I mention that the gym clothes I used 2 years back, are shorter for me ? Well, I am sure, I have not grown taller. If that was the case, the never-ending search for the right and tall guy is going to take much longer. I started analyzing why my clothes got shorter, and I was not very glad to hit on the answer. When one grows broader, the clothes have to cover larger area width wise,  and so they cover lesser length wise ! Huh . Well thanks for standing 176 cms tall, people who see after a year now, do not complain/exclaim that I have put on weight, its only me, who worries, bcos I carry those extra 10 kilos now !

So during the weekend B and I went shopping for clothes with contrastingly different specifications. She was looking for extra-small and I was looking for X-Ls. And I usually go for the unisex varieties bcos of my height. She also made me buy some hair bands and other accessories. I have not started wearing them yet. Well, she does, and she looks like a typical Anushka Sharma of RNBDJ. Good in way, it adds a glamor quotient to our otherwise boring gym. I need the motivation to jump around, otherwise, there is no fun jumping around fat masses during the aerobics session. 

And now, it seems the fashion factor is hitting me too. I am bored with my gym clothes. And since its mid-week, I have no time for a dedicated shopping spree either. I regret those many times, I was offered t-shirts at different office events, parties, contests, I always opted them for bro or Dad. I have no interesting t-shirts :(  And somehow, I didnt want to hit the gym today with my boring t-shirts. Its pay-back time, So I opened my brother's wardrobe and looked for t-shirts which can be used as unisex. Also, for the ones he wouldnt mind donating it to me.  I finally got a t-shirt sponsored by "THE WEEK" . Good enough for today, now I know what to do in the weekend. 
1st-May-2009 04:18 pm - Falling into Place..

 A month back I spent 4 days in exhaustion for getting things in order for an impulsive decision. After applying for the VISA, though I doubted my own application, I didnt bother much about it, bcos I knew if I did, it would weaken me further if I fail. I never prayed once for a successful processing, though in between I got anxious and kept tracking the progress on the VISA office website. And one of the worst fears was, what if they called up my present employer for a background check. My friend had a similar call for the same VISA, and when his manager inquired about it, he was lucky to fool his manager with some other reasons. I know, my manager cannot be taken for a ride that easily. And when I havent really thought about the migration, I do not want to ruin my manager's hope about me staying here for a long time.

So yesterday I got a call at 9 am from the courier office. I was already on the way to office, so I could not collect the passport. I got a bit anxious bcos I had to wait till evening to know the news which could be either ways. I called up Vee, who helped me ease out, and after reaching office, I forgot about it until I reached back home and started following up with the courier office. May 1 being a holiday, I didnt want to sit whole of the day waiting for the courier till Saturday . At 10 pm, I got the courier. There was some confusion with the consignment number, so while the guy was checking it up, I didnt want to get anxious, so went back to the kitchen to do the dishes :)

After he left, I held the cover in my hand, mumbled a small prayer which I dont even recall now. As I opened my passport, the first thing which fell out was my passport photo, and I got a shock which made me weak, wondering if my application was rejected. However the shock didnt last long, so I pulled out other papers to find out why they rejected my application. I already set my mind to appeal for it. I couldnt find any papers other than my original documents. So I opened my passport again and found the VISA on page 17. :) I think they usually return photos :) I didnt know that. My mind was calm, I looked at the VISA for some time in silence. I realized then that there is actually nothing forward to look to, I do not have plans yet, I am yet to make plans, it had been a long day already, so I left the passport on my table and retired to bed. Plans can wait, or they can evolve,  I anyways have the keys to one of the roads of my future. I need to choose which road.

Co-incidentally yesterday I completed 6 months at my current employer.  I didnt realize it, until I got a confirmation letter from the HR eod.  Though transition from probation to permanent is usually sequential, with the economic conditions around, anything could happen. I am glad, nothing untoward happened so far. This is key to another road ahead.

I do not believe in Astrology though I try to analyze people and their sun signs. But they say, the positions of planets favor when it is ur birth month or sun sign phase, so good things happen. And bcos of this reason, over the years, once its April-May I always turn positive about the decisions I make and their outcome. Be it planetary influence, or the positive thoughts, things have been good so far. Everything is falling into place so far.  

30th-Apr-2009 10:02 am - Vain Repentence
Last night when I was just about to hit bed,  my college batch mate Vin caught me online. We were class mates at Engineering for the first year, later we were divided into different streams, he was into Mechanical. The first time I knew him, I thought he was a "Vaaye-Nokki" ( One who keeps ogling at girls ) , bcos he was desperately trying to hit on my beautiful room-mate Sho, who was not interested in him either. Being the protective and motherly room mate, I always tried to keep him away from Sho.

Later Vin changed his strategy and started acting as if he was hitting on me, so that Sho would get jealous and fall for him. I remember, Vin  looking for me on one of the Valentine's and how I tried avoiding him and ran for my life. We all knew it was for fun, but Sho and Vin werent a  couple then, not until we graduated. I do not know what happened after college days, I knew things were serious between them, only when I came to know they were together in Dubai and were getting married despite religious conflicts, family honor etc .

Today they are happily married and are blessed with a beautiful daughter Tina. And Vin was multi-tasking while baby-sitting and chatting with me, Sho was busy preparing for one of her training exams. Vin was telling me that everyday Sho cursed all the people in her company for making her read through Aircraft engineering. I had a hearty laugh, bcos Sho was somebody who couldnt sit with a book under her nose in college days even. Sho and Liz,  my room-mates used to sleep all through the exam days while Vids and I spent many countless nights burning midnight oil. They in fact, brought special Dunlop Mattress from home, bcos the hostel beds were not very nice to sleep for long hours, especially when other kids were putting on the light and studying :) I remember, as we were the first batch for the new syllabus, the important questions under different categories could be easily guessed. Sho and Liz would wake up around 5 am on the exam day and start studying, while I did the revisions for the important questions. They always passed. Vids and I always wondered where this was leading to. 

Even before any of us had jobs, Sho was already employed with Dubai's best Airways. I remember when Vids and I discussed how getting good ranks and marks didnt matter once you are out of college. Today Sho works as an Electronic Engineer for Dubai's world famous Airlines. But she thinks, she is not able to grasp things on her training manuals, bcos she didnt read anything properly in her Engineering days. Vin says, Sho feels atleast if she had worked hard then, it would have been easier today. Vids are you reading this ? Sho repents now ! But little does Sho know, it really does not matter what you read in Engineering or vomited on the answer sheets. Bcos none of us are really working on what we read those days,  though fundamentals remain same.  On second thoughts, may be Sho is right too, she is never used to sitting in one place with a book in her hand, so its definitely a task to prepare for the training sessions now. When she was 18-19, she cursed the authors of our Engineering reference books as to why they couldnt keep things simple, today reaching 30, she curses all the training staff at her work place.. Heh.. Life sometimes brings you back what you dont want.
29th-Apr-2009 11:53 am - International Dance Day
Today is International Dance Day. For all you Dance lovers, you know what to do next. My team mate has been pestering me for sometime now to join her for some Dance classes. As I already have my evenings packed with loafing around and disturbing friends, their parents, their kids, their servants and in some cases neighbors too, I had not given her my whole consent.

Co-incidentally today we bumped into the idea of joining the office gym where we have aerobics classes too. Well, its 2 years since I last visited a gym, and the weighing machine numbers do not leave me content either. So today we enrolled for our gym and aerobics class. I am eagerly looking forward to this.

Today morning when I went to pick some tea from the pantry, the glass table with a borken sharp edge(kept for news papers) tore my salwar and also a little of the kameez. And it also scratched my leg slightly. I managed to temporarily staple the torn cloth. I am angry with myself and also with the facilities team here. I raised a call report asking them to either remove or replace the table, bcos it could be more dangerous for someone else. I dont think they understand.

Btw, I was not dancing around in the pantry, I was just trying to quickly scan the newspaper and was standing and reading the newspaper when this happened. 
27th-Apr-2009 02:51 pm - Getting back to routine
The past 4 days have been hectic. I expected myself to be physically drained, but with some minor problems I got mentally strained as well. Yesterday I suddenly felt abandoned as the pillars of support I was leaning on appeared to be crumbling. Somehow, these days, my endurance levels have been better than before, so I am just letting this phase pass as well. So far, the journey back towards recovery is going faster than what I anticipated.

I reached Bangalore today morning at 5 am, and I decided to crash into my bed for further sleep. I reach office late and even after 4 hours of  doing bits of code and staring in vain at my failing code on the monitor, I couldnt get back to routine. After calling up few friends, I call Mihika.

Every time she talks to me, the first question I ask her is "What are you doing " ? As she has just started catching up with English sentences, she mistakes my question to "Where are you " ? And her prompt response is always " Here "...then pauses for a while " Here" .. screams a while later "Here" ( As though I dont understand what "here" means !)  While I try to equate "here" to a probable question" she screams louder "Nanna house " ( Dad's house ) . Well after altering my question to a multiple choice question with options like "are you eating " , "are you playing " , "were you crying", she mumbles and gives answers in her own baby language !

Today however she gave me a surprise when I asked her my usual question . She replied " TV cartoon " . I was happy and the gladness took away all my tiredness and we continued for a couple of seconds until the maid switched channels. Mihi thought I did something bcos it was me to whom she told she was watching cartoons. She runs to her mom and complains that I changed the channel. Well, to rephrase what she actually complained "Look at what this lady did to the cartoon ".   Well her mom tried to explain to her that I didnt have access to their TV from my office, she was in no mood to reconcile. Well, I should now think of a peace treaty. ( perhaps get her the chunni which I promised )
21st-Apr-2009 11:02 am - Looking forward ahead :)

This day last year, I was confused about my life's position. There were many questions unanswered, there were many reasons unknown. One of the worst birthdays I had in my life minus the family and friends who stood by me. In midst of all chaos in my life, the only thing  I knew was that I was back home, I knew my family was there for me. I had nothing to look forward to, I nearly screwed up my career, my life was never like before, and destiny was what I didnt want to accept then.

Today I am still confused, I havent got the reasons I am looking for, I havent found the answers,  the only difference being I know what I dont want, I know what not to accept, I know what is not possible, and above all I know even if you hit rock bottom, there is always one step to take above !

2-3 years back, this is not what I wanted my life to be today. But compared to what it was this time last year, I have progressed quite far. Though I get ocassionaly depressed when I think a lot, I am glad I am perfectly competent at work and have not lost the zeal to excel. There is something always to focus and spend your energy on.
Well, at work place, it is an unsaid custom to bring sweets and snacks and then offer a small party at the Cafeteria. Feels like school days, bringing sweets and everyone coming to your place and wishing you. Anyways, as long as anything makes you feel younger and kiddish it is good, especially with every advancing year.

So far the day started with a lot of events. Milk spilled while boiling, bcos I was trying to multi-task with irctc. I had to book tatkal tickets and the site never opened its services. After refreshing 40-50 times, and able to login 20-25 times and paying 7-8 times, and getting deducted thrice, I finally got one ticket booked. Phew. I got late to office, and I had to carry sweets and snacks, so I took an auto. Anyways after reaching here, everything seems to be normal. I got to give a project presentation about the projects I am handling to the management here, I hope it goes on well.

Looking forward to brighter days !!


20th-Apr-2009 01:45 pm - Rewinding back to earlier weekends
I think what I did mainly this weekend was reliving my earlier weekends, especially the ones around 2-3 years ago. Saturday morning, though it was quite hot, R and I went out shopping. With 2 kids, R never gets time to be herself, so we decided to leave the kids home and venture out. After dropping R back home, I got home and when it was a bit cooler, I got into a BMTC bus and went on a jolly ride for a Rs 30 daily pass. Well, a BMTC is never a jolly ride, but thanks to IPL, the junta was mainly indoors and the roads were a bit empty.

I went around almost all places I used to frequent 2-3 years back. As the bus slowly crossed these landmarks, I recollected every moment, every dialog I had with the person who accompanied me that time. Some of the memories were funny, some were painful, some of them made me guilty for having hurt some of the best people in my life, some memories, made me realize the wonderful set of people I was around with then, the people who were always there for me, when I needed them. I also re-lived my feelings for one of my crushes, how I met him, how I wished, he would call me again to meet him, how I kept oscillating my decision about whether to tell him or not.. heh. Well, I also realized, its not bcos he is married now, I actually lost the feelings for him a while back, I cant recall when, or why or how, but given a second chance, I do not think, I can get back those feelings. But then re-living the past was quite amusing :) I returned back home with mixed feelings of my entire flashback.

R had to exchange few things bcos of size mis-matches, and we went again yesterday. This time with Mihika also bcos S offered to drive us around. Ever since Mihika spotted her cousin wearing a salwar set, she has been persistently asking one for herself . So, we found a cotton salwar-kameez set , and I was surprised time flies so soon. It was  just like yesterday when Rash and I went out to buy some baby accessories for the just born Mihika. And now, we stand shopping for chudhidar set !

Well, it didnt end there. We reached home and Mihi was quite ecstatic of her salwar set. She changed into them and did some of her typical dance steps in joy, while her parents R-S and I were watching her and we eventually got carried into our own thoughts about how our little darling took her first baby steps. Well, we had to abandon our journey through memories, when we heard a loud shriek. Mihika wanted to know where the chunni was !! Well, who buys dupatta for 2+ year olds and its not a typical jodha-akbar set either. So R and I tried explaining to her, that this didnt come with a chunni.. Well, the wails turned into louder sobs and S kept looking at us as though we were some fools who didnt think about this situation earlier. In between her sobs, the kid also tried explaining to us, that she wanted the 3 things together, and that was what was called a set. Well, we realized the kid was quite serious in her specifications and it was the chunni the most important attraction. Desperate we were to quieten this wailing kid, we immediately tore one of R's dupatta's and wrapped it around Mihika. She wasnt amused. After assuring her and taking the blame of leaving the chunni at the shop, I promised to return back with her original chunni ! phew.. that was close.

15th-Apr-2009 09:59 am - Ramblings
For the past 2 days, every time I went to the ladies washroom, I saw the same gal sitting on the sink slab and talking on her phone. I might have gone over 5-6 times between 9 to 6 pm and I saw her there every time I went. I wonder if the poor kid remembered to have her lunch in between. I also cannot imagine her being absent from her work place for 2 whole days ! Even if somebody didnt have work, cant they be grateful to their employer for paying them the day's salary ! I do not work 100% of the time I sit in office, but I give 100% to what I do when I am in working in office.

The worst thing about putting on weight in summer is, your clothes which are just fitting you get more tighter and stick to your body more closer. And instead of removing stitches, I am determined about getting back to original sizes. And the step towards determination includes sleeping on time and waking up early to get back to my morning walks and try other ways to increase the metabolism rate.

Another thing I worry during summer is hair loss. I think its about the sweat which triggers more hair loss.  Its going to be one year I straightened my hair and I think , its time for the next one. Over all, I am quite happy with the way I had to deal with it and also, I didnt expect that much of hair loss as I had imagined it to be. And its funny, everytime  I notice the newly grown curly hair, I hate it,  yes, I hate my very own natural hair. The very own curly hair which added more cuteness to my chubby face when I was a kid.

Today morning, I was standing near the Domlur Flyover bus stop, when an IBM bus to Manyata Emabssy crossed. It went mid-way on the fly-over and stopped bcos the driver forgot to pick up a girl waiting near the Flyover bus stop. Only when the girl starting walking on the flyover , I noticed she was handicapped and she was struggling her way up. I had no idea on how to help her reach the bus. The traffic was not at all bad, atleast some people could have got off the bus and helped the bus take reverse. The poor girl struggled her way up, and everyone was just standing and watching her. I was one among them. I am just thinking now, why my brains didnt work then, I could have stopped either a 2 wheeler or 4 wheeler and asked someone to offer her a lift upto her bus. My brain goes dead sometimes.
7th-Apr-2009 09:37 am - Increasing Laziness.
Last Weekend, I invited Vee and her hubby P for dinner to my place.  I had suddenly recalled that I hadnt invited them home after their marriage, which was actually more than 18 months back :) Well, so many things happened in all our lives last year, that we forgot about these formalities ! Anyways, it was not typically a formality, I just wanted them to come home.
I was so excited that we finally could get all of us free on Saturday evening  and I made elaborate plans for the menu. P being a converted Vegetarian, I suddenly felt handicapped about cooking ! I realized I didnt know any specialties in Vegetarian dishes.. All my life, I have been witnessing only non-vegetarian feasts thrown out at home parties. Even some time last year, I had been host to some 20 people and I somehow had managed to build up the menu to some 15+ items, ( thanks to chicken, eggs,  fish and prawns and their corresponding starters) . Okay, I made vegetable cutlets last year, I didnt think about it this time, so I missed out on a opportunity to show my talents :P Well, I know to make vegetable pulav as well, Rash a strict food critic, has also certified my vegetable pulav to above average standards, but then I have stolen the recipe from Vee's mom, so I didnt want any repetition, especially from their home menu.

Anyways, mid-way between my cooking, I  got lazy and lost the enthu and since I had not hit on the idea of vegetable cutlets. I closed my kitchen after making a payasam. So we just had chappathi, chana chole, rice, mixed vegetable sambhar, ladies finger sabji, and moong dal_rice payasam, and oh yes, garnished with plenty of talk and fun which was priceless !

Next time, I invite somebody, I would start with culets as specialty ! And for Vee and P, I will extend another invite for a snacks party :)
3rd-Apr-2009 09:45 am - Cautious, to be or not
The other day I was waiting in the queue outside a Vijaya bank ATM near my home  to withdraw some cash for the house rent.  A man in his 50's was at the ATM, doing something for a long time. As I waited outside impatiently, he suddenly turned back and after noticing me, he opened the door and signaled me to come inside. I really didnt understand what he was trying to convey. He kept showing his ATM card and signaled me to come inside. I assumed he wanted me to go in  and use the ATM, bcos his card had some problem. Without thinking about anything, I immediately signaled him back, that I had no problem waiting and that he could use his time.

This happened for  2-3 times, until another middle-aged person came and stood behind me. Soon the new person also got impatient, and he went nearer to the door. This time the guy inside called the second man in and both of them started debugging the ATM machine and his card. I began thinking if I did a mistake by not helping the guy initially. May be he genuinely had a problem. But then, who knows, could be a trick also to fool somebody, get her in and take some cash at knife point ! I also didnt wait any longer, may be 2 thiefs together trying to fool me. And being April 1, I didnt want any thief playing any tricks on me either ! May be I just only lost on doing a good deed.

I remember a similar incident where I refused to help someonea month back. A guy in bike stopped near me, and asked me if I saw any black wallet on the road I was walking on.  And then, he asked me to lend him 50 rupees as he had lost his wallet, so that he could fill petrol and reach home. I didnt wait and ask him, if he wanted me to lend or donate ? I just told him, " I am sorry, I cant help u " and  walked back home. I think I walked back rather fast and made sure, he was not following me. Well, it was not about losing 50 rupees, I was worried, this could be some base plan to get something bigger, either divert my attention and snatch my handbag, or in the pretext of returning the money, coming to my home etc etc.. Well, and who can identifyy people with helmets on !
31st-Mar-2009 08:54 am - Impulsive decisions
The biggest thing I did last week, was to suddenly decide about applying for a UK work visa. I had plans to look for a job in UK sometime last year. But I didnt have a valid work visa then. With markets down, I had totally given up on the idea, until when the UK VISA board, changed the eligibility for TIER-1 General VISA. They allow only candidates with masters from March 31. Atleast for now, I do not plan to do a masters. So with just a week left, I made one big decision and got all the bank documents in place. There was some little running about, bcos I had to get attested payslips from 2  employers and supporting bank statements for a 12 month period.

The good lesson I learnt from the whole experience is, things go fine, when one maintains oneself cool. I knew I was very late to get the  documents in place, so I told myself, I am not going to get frustrated at the end of the ordeal, if I fail to get things in place. Looking back now, most the documents were not in the format I wanted, I had patiently explained  to the banks and the employers my requirement, and without forcing things my way, I actually got the documents finally. Especially with the previous employer, I stood quite some time at the reception of the corporate office, explaining on phone to the payroll guy. I was surprised, that never in my life before, I have been so patient with people or situations ! I am glad, I am learning to accept change.

I submitted my documents on March 27, and I have decided again not to get anxious about my application getting approved. I have told myself the only loss would be the 45K I spent on the whole process, bcos I am not bothered about the job thing currently and its too risky to shift jobs anyway. But I am happy I made an attempt to go about this.
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